hainaku...

f*ck...
i don't know if im gonna be happy or not...
happy because finally one sem is ove and im going to work...
i also will receive the ched scholarship which i badly need to lessen our expenses...
sad because of my f*cking feelings for my so-called "ex"...
i mean, how can i move on when the reason of my loneliness is also the reason of my happiness?
how can i forget him when his house is the exact opposite to ours?
and how can i possibly fall out of love when i long for his voice, his touch, his smile and his eyes?
damn it...
i feel so awful...
and all i can do is cry and wait...
=(