Friday, October 19, 2007

hainaku...

f*ck...
i don't know if im gonna be happy or not...
happy because finally one sem is ove and im going to work...
i also will receive the ched scholarship which i badly need to lessen our expenses...
sad because of my f*cking feelings for my so-called "ex"...
i mean, how can i move on when the reason of my loneliness is also the reason of my happiness?
how can i forget him when his house is the exact opposite to ours?
and how can i possibly fall out of love when i long for his voice, his touch, his smile and his eyes?
damn it...
i feel so awful...
and all i can do is cry and wait...
=(

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Worst day ever

im so devastated...
wanna know why?
because even if i am dumping a worthless guy...
he still makes me feel im the one who was dumped first...
and actually, it's not my fault but his!
all i ever wanted in a relationship is to love and be loved in return...
and yet people can't do it!
is it because im not worthy?
or should i say...
they are the ones not worthy?
maybe i should love myself even more...
because i think it would be the best thing i should do instead of mourning for freaks like them...
and i don't despise them...
i really despise them!

Saturday, October 06, 2007

I feel so wasted this day...

punyeta...
hilo ako ngaun...
di ako lasing pero sumuka ako for the first time...
as if im not in the mood to drink...
nasabi ko na rin kay dexter cortes yung naging feelings ko sa kanya...
but he never let himself kiss me...
i mean, what's wrong?
im still in a sound mind and i believe ive gotten over him...
because i love my boyfriend more...
but something happened...
mhix texted me, telling me that she already knows im in a relationship with alfie ferrer...
as if she wants to tell me that i must not forgot her...
that ive must not forget my feelings to her...
it makes me feel so sick...
goddamn her...
and i feel so lonely now...
as if ive never been like this in my whole life...
=(